WARNING contains: grammar, gross generalizations about whole countries full of people, me, exaggerations, biscuits, and origami.
I recently traveled back to the good ol' US of A for the first time since moving to England. We took the whole family to my birth place, Georgia, and spent time with each of my parents plus other family and even squeezed in a trip back to North Carolina to see friends.
Being home did not feel strange or even hard won, having been away only about nine months. Since I've made my home in North Carolina for several years, visiting my family in Georgia feels normal to me. The temporary nature of the time spent, the focus on being together, the desire for comfort foods, and the even the feeling of sadness when it is finished - are all very familiar to me as someone who has lived away from my childhood home for such a long time.
Visiting North Carolina was a little odd, but only because every interaction over the mere 24 hours I spent there was tinged with a bit of sadness. That feeling of needing to savor and to say important things before it all goes away. It was odd to try to talk about daily life things. I kept wanting to impart something major when all I really needed to do was be present. In the end, I think I did a good job of focusing on the moments spent with friends whom I miss dearly.
Almost everyone asked me variations of the following two questions:
1. What do you miss most about America? (beyond all my friends and family, cos obviously LOTS!)
2. What do you love about where you live now?
So in case I didn't see you or I didn't answer you when you asked or you're just wondering, here are the answers.
I miss biscuits and iced tea (yes, I can make these. Not. The. Same.) I miss ch1ck_fil@ (sorry, don't want brands searchable, you figure it out) because they're so helpful to moms with kids. I miss St@rbuck3 drive-thru. But let me tell you, my ass doesn't! I lost eight pounds during our first two months in the UK and I'm pretty sure I can chalk it up almost completely to to the total lack of drive-thru and fast food where I live now. Seriously y'all, I gained four pounds on our trip, all carbs and tea.
I miss people being nice and saying hello and helping me of their own volition. This is partially a Southern (US) thing versus a southern UK thing. The southern US is known for hospitality, while that's more the case in northern Britain and the south here is known as more urban and cold personality wise; the reverse of the American stereotype. I've largely found this to be true. People just don't go out of their way. Certainly, not everyone in the southern US is falling over themselves to help out strangers, but people hold doors when you have a stroller. They say, "have a nice day," and mean it. They don't mind a little light chit chat. Sometimes, I find the Brits in my area to be quite distant. Though, I have also had success with "killing them with kindness" too and some folks seem quite open to my openness. Just not as much as home. I've found a good local coffee shop where mostly the people are nice and respond well to my outgoing nature. That's a comforting thing to have access to on hard day.
I miss Target; or maybe just everything I need being in one place. I miss knowing about how much good and services should cost or knowing someone who knows. Having recently bought a house in the UK, it is impossible to convey just how frustrating it is not know these things. We bought a natural gas powered tumble dryer as it is far more environmentally friendly but cannot find anyone to install it as a special certification is needed. I got estimates on work we had done to the house, but was mostly at the mercy or tradespeople.
I miss bear hugs from friends and family. Brits don't full body hug.
What was most interesting about the trip though were the things I missed a bit about England. Naturally, I missed being in a house with easy access to all my things and more flexibility with timing for activities as well as time with my husband (he worked in NC half the trip and the rest of the time we were too tired to talk to each other most nights). But I didn't expect to miss anything else.
I missed the fine British art of receipt folding. When you've made a purchase at a shop here, the cashier folds your receipt at least once, sometimes two or three times, before handing it to you. It may be the only time they make eye contact with you, depending on the store, and it is a nice little moment. Americans often lay it down on a table/counter or just shove your receipt at you, sometimes even looking at the next customer while they do it.
I missed easy access to parks/play areas/activities for kids. I will hand it to the fine folks of Surrey County. There's a lot for kids to do and see around here and it's all fairly close by. I'm from near Atlanta, so everything must driven to and it can take 30 minutes or even an hour or more to get to something. You can play on school playgrounds, but only when the school is not in session and other play grounds are around, but not with the frequency you'll find in Surrey. I can walk to a play park in two minutes from where I live now. Where we rented before, there were three play parks, a community pool, and two water areas with ducks within fifteen minutes walk. There are also a number of indoor (for obvious, British Isles reasons) play places and very child friendly museums and historic sites around. Where we lived in North Carolina was quite child friendly and I had plenty to do there with the kids, but there's more variety here and literally some kid friendly thing to do/go/see every single weekend on Saturdays AND Sundays.
I missed better drivers. Sorry you freedom loving, texting and ranting while driving, drinking and eating in your car, DVD watching, sound system cranking, leaning hard American drivers. You suck. You are selfish and dangerous. The Brits respect the passing lane as a place to speed past other cars; not as a place to park yourself with your cruise control set at the speed limit. People rarely talk on their phones and drive let alone text. I do see people using hands-free systems to make calls, but the iprayer position as you hurtle down the freeway at 55 miles an hour (the speed limit is 70 and you're in the passing lane, having slowed down when you picked up to see your latest fantasy football stats) just doesn't happen much. I say this having had someone honk at me this morning as I drove my oldest to school. I wasn't going through the round-about fast enough for them. But it is such a rarity that it occurred to me that I was previously unsure what a car horn sounded like in the UK.
There it is people. My summary judgement of America versus the UK after about ten months of living in England and 11 days back in the US. If I saw you, don't forget to give me a big hug when next we meet. If I didn't see you, I owe you a big huge hug when I finally get my grubby paws on you. I love you America; your biscuits, your tea, your "Hey there!" and the generosity of spirit that your people share with strangers and friends alike. And I miss all your good people.
