For
those with no idea, please read this OpenLetter by a Mackenzie Dawson to
Gwyneth Paltrow regarding something foolish she said to E! in an
interview.
For those who
don't like to read but are somehow struggling through my blog, the
basics are as follows. GP said that a working mom probably has it
easier than a movie star when it comes to the whole having a job
while raising kids thing because you have a routine and you can be
home in the morning and at night. She said that when she doesn't show
up for a school pick up, “it's like, where were you?” The open
letter is a reply that drips sarcasm and implies that if one has lots
of money, one can no longer be in any way torn between work life and
home life, since money solves all of life's problems and as GP is
absolutely loaded, she can't complain about having a hard time with
her kids. The author describes her home life a little and emphasizes her hardships. The open letter never once mentions parent-child
relationships as an issue, which was, I think, more along the lines
of what Gwyneth was talking about.
Dear Gwyneth
and Mackenzie - you are both wrong. And you neither of you
understands or is seemingly interested in supporting other mothers.
Shame on you.
Look, I'm no
great fan of Ms.Paltrow and don't get me started on GOOP, but what
she is saying, having read the original interview, is that as her
children have gotten older it has gotten harder to be away from them and acknowledges that she has agency in the situation, "I set it up in a way that makes it difficult." I imagine they question her more when she is way, when she can't
answer the phone and when she cannot be at school pick ups. Because
at their age (7 and 9), they don't care that their mom is
celebrity and that her work brings them a life of comfort. They want
mom to be there. And despite what the Kardashians have led the world
to believe, being an actual working actress mom, which GP is, does
entail long hours, trips away (and not always to LA, to the glories of Wisconsin too), time when one is unable to
answer phone calls, etc. She limits her work to once a year and does
so to spend more time with her kids, according to her own words, and
of course she also does it because she probably likes it and likes
having the money that comes with it. That GP doesn't acknowledge her lifestyle is certainly unattractive to those of us without her level of privilege but it may also
have been left out. You don't imagine that E! thought posting just
that snippet of the interview would go unnoticed? That they had no
inkling of the furor that might arise? Then you're more foolish than
Ms.Paltrow.
Does she have a
choice? Sure she does. We all* have a choice. Reality TV makes
working in “the industry” look like sitting around reading
magazines and being pampered. I'm sorry to shatter you, but for those trying to achieve “celebrity”, that's not really what it is
like. At least not as a working actor, even a celebrity one. The fact
that actors are insanely compensated for their work is not their
fault (per se) and while enviable it does not mean that they lose the
right to struggle with work-life balance or to find parenting a
challenge.
If you love your career and you love your children, you
are allowed to have emotional struggles and be challenged by them.
What Ms.Dawson fails to see is that GP is a whole person, not just a
wad of cash wrapped in too little skin wearing expensive short
shorts. What GP really fails to do is “consciously” know that
most if not all working mothers have a hard time balancing their
career choices and their roles as mothers and that her issues are not unique just because she has a unique job. Time is on none of our
sides ladies and you'd both do better to perhaps lend a voice to
working mother's rights rather than focus solely on your own
situation.
*when I say “all”, I am absolutely
am only referring to upper middle class and upper class moms who have chosen not only to have kids but to work as well. I don't
know Mackenzie's circumstances, but as her open letter was published
rather quickly, I'm guessing she's a journalist or related to the
industry in some way and she is not struggling to support a family on
20k a year. When GP made her statement, I don't think she was
thinking about middle class and/or poorer women. That's another fault
of hers to be sure but not one I am interested in here.
